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Daily thought/discussion post for 09/11/16

Wider Understanding

To reach more alcoholics, understanding of A.A. and public good will towards A.A. must go on growing everywhere. We need to be on still better terms with medicine, religion, employers, governments, courts, prisons, mental hospitals, and all enterprises in the alcoholism field. We need the increasing good will of editors, writers, television, and radio channels. These publicity outlets need to be opened ever wider.


Nothing matters more to A.A.'s future welfare than the manner in which we use the colossus of modern communication. Used unselfishly and well, it can produce results surpassing our present imagination.

Should we handle this great instrument badly, we shall be shattered by the ego manifestations of our own people. Against the peril, A.A. members' anonymity before the general public is our shield and our buckler.

As Bill Sees It - p255 - Twelve Conepts - p51 - Grapevine from November 1960 (AA)

Making Amends

Above all, we should try to be absolutely sure that we are not delaying because we are afraid.

Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions - p87 - from Daily Reflections (AA)
Commentary Here

Bend With The Wind

We learn to become flexible... As new things are revealed, we feel renewed.

Commentary: "Flexibility" was not a part of the vocabulary we used in our using days. We'd become obsessed with the raw pleasure of our [drugs] and hardened to all the softer, subtler, more infinitely varied pleasures of the world around us. Our disease had turned life in itself into a constant threat of jails, institutions, and death, a threat against which we hardened ourselves all the more. In the end we became brittle. With the merest breath of life's wind we crumbled at last, broken, defeated, with no choice but to surrender.

But the beautiful irony of recovery is that, in our surrender, we found the flexibility we had lost in our [addiction], the very lack of which had defeated us. We regained the ability to bend in life's breeze without breaking. When the wind blew, we felt its loving caress against our skin, where once we would have hardened ourselves as if against the onrush of a storm.

The winds of life blows new airs our way each moment, and with them new fragrances, new pleasures, varied, subtly different. As we bend with life's wind, we feel and hear and touch and smell and taste all it has to offer us. And as new winds blow, we feel renewed.

Just For Today: Higher Power, help me bend with life's wind and glory in its passing. Free me from rigidity.

Just For Today - September 11th (NA)

The Fugitives

Alcoholics Anonymous has given me something of real value that I can share with others.

Grapevine - Tucson, Ariz., May 2004 (AA)

Atma's Thoughts

I think Bill W up there is trying to dual-wield shields. If he had survived until the 90s, he'd be a bad Final Fantasy 2 code gimmick to increasing your evasion by equipping two shields and spamming block and cancel to add it up to tens of thousands of blocks in one frame of animation and gaining so much for one fight. What a silly, broken, ambitious little game, that could have benefited from entry 3 today. But I digress.

Stop me if you've heard this one, but there's two kinds of people: people who attend meetings, and those that don't. It sounds like a punchline and a most basic fact, but it's true. We have people who show up, maybe because a spouse insisted or a court paper said they must, but they don't really participate even though they're physically there, their mental and spiritual state is very much not with us, usually out or denial or pride. I got to witness this today at an NA meeting.

The first is a guy who should have listened to entry 3 - a man whom, after he learned we were locked out of our supply area for the day and couldn't get more chairs and the one he took was preoccupied by someone who had to run off for a brief moment, threw the stuff aside and sat in it anyways like a selfish ass. We told him not to be a shit and he threw a fit at us saying if you get up from a chair, you forfeit it immediately, whether you actually need the seating or not. A couple other seats still remained open but he wanted this one, and us saying no enraged him, as if he was special, and he threw the chair aside, thankfully not damaging anything, and barged out. A grown man easily in his 50s or 60s acting all of 5 years old because this couldn't be about him. These people are the ones I mentioned who are miserable in sobriety and don't learn how to do things like bend in the wind or adapt; recovery is a way for them to show how better than you they are and because we wouldn't let his ego take over the space and make it unfair to others, he chose his own route. He showed up, but didn't stay nor did he really intend to attend if he had.

Then we had another guy who looked like your most stereotypical white dudebro skater stereotype - kind of stout shaped, a soulpatch, backwards baseball hat, tshirt with gold lettering indicating he was a huge pimp, on his too cool miniature phone, undone shoelaces. This guy seriously looked like a parody of someone come to life. Despite us not having access to coffee or our literature or more chairs, he stuck it out since he was so glad to have us around. He's not been sober too long but he's glad to no longer have that constant go-getter drama that drains your life force no matter what you're doing. He doesn't have to keep track of whole stole what from whom or whom is gonna ruin who's ass and if he has enough drugs or if he's sold enough or any of it. The people he saw just existing normally and using bikes for fun and not because they can't legally use a car were people he envied but is now one of and any time he misses his past, he remembers how soul-sucking it was and said "It's good I can admit I romanticize my past, since if I ever see it as cool again, that's when I'll slip." and "If I had known then instead of tweaking and staying up three days straight I could get a good hot meal in me and a decent amount of sleep I'd instantly feel that much better, I'd have done this sooner."

He also mentioned the boredom that can encapsulate things that also drives people to slip, and today he was legitimately amazed a couple days ago, he could just sit at home and bingewatch something on Netflix. "That's something normal people do now. I can take a day off and binge something on Netflix. It's an incredible feeling." He was not mad at me I couldn't make our usual coffee, since he understood the curveball we arrived at finding with the locked supplies. For someone who looked like the first word out of his mouth should be "Bro" followed by some creepy comment about minorities or women, he was a super alright dude and finding a normalcy in the little things, even Netflix.

And after today, I'd much rather be him than Chair Guy who ironically can't stand for the fact he might have to stand.

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