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Daily thought/discussion post for 09/10/16

Satisfactions Of Right Living

How wonderful is the feeling that we do not have to be specially distinguished among our fellows in order to be useful and profoundly happy. Not many of us can be leaders of prominence, nor do we wish to be.

Service gladly rendered, obligations squarely met, troubles well accepted or solved with God's help, the knowledge that at home or in the world outside we are partners in a common effort, the fact in God's sight all human beings are important, the proof that love freely given brings a full return, the certainty that we are no longer isolated and alone in self-contained prisons, the surety that we can fit and belong in God's scheme of things - these are the satisfactions of right living for which no pomp and circumstance, no heap of material possessions, could possibly be substitutes.

As Bill Sees It - p254 - Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions - p 124 (AA)

Recovery By Proxy?

They [the Promises] will always materialize if we work for them.

Alcoholics Anonymous - p84 - from Daily Reflections (AA)
Commentary Here

More Powerful Than Words

We learn that a simple, loving hug can make all the difference in the world...

Commentary: Perhaps there have been times in our recovery when we were close to someone who was in great pain. We struggled with the question, "What can I do to make them feel better?" We felt anxious and inadequate to relieve their suffering. We wished we had more experience to share. We didn't know what to say.

But sometimes life deals wounds that can't be eased by even the most heartfelt words. Words can never express all we mean when our deepest feelings of compassion are involved. Language is inadequate to reach a wounded soul, as only the touch of a loving Higher Power can heal an injury to the spirit.

When those love are grieving, simply being present is perhaps the most compassionate contribution we can offer. We can rest assured that a loving Higher Power is working hard at healing the spirit; our only responsibility is to be there. Our presence, a loving hug, and a sympathetic ear will surely express the depth of our feelings, and do more to reach the heart of a human being in pain than mere words ever could.

Just For Today: I will offer my presence, a hug, and a sympathetic ear to someone I love.

Just For Today - September 10th (NA)

The Individual In Relation To AA As A Group

We who live in the haven of AA cling together with an intensity of purpose which the outside world seldom comprehends. The anarchy of the individual melts away. Self-love subsides and democracy becomes a reality. We begin to know true freedom of the spirit.

Grapevine - AA Co-Founder, Bill W., July 1946 (AA)

Atma's Thoughts

I think 4 might be a repeat of something recently but I couldn't find it so I couldn't tell you where to go but the anarchy thing sounds familiar, apologies if it's been said in a previous post.

Otherwise, I spoke about the promises yesterday and stuff like being accepted for not being special or normal being such a wonderful feeling, so today I'll touch briefly on the hug thing.

I'm not a hugging person. Never really have been, never really now, who knows what the future might bring but it'll be a while before I am, if it's in my life path to be one. Cats and dogs and such are an exception, and any woman I may be intimately involved with gets a pass, but hugs and such just aren't comfortable for me often. I try to opt for a firm and warm handshake that shows the other person they'd be safe in my hands. I've not been raped or sexually abused in my life, which is one thing I am grateful for with the rate it happens to women, nor was I ever really called ugly or anything, which is another rarity, and despite the fact I'm so outgoing and extroverted and physically oriented in my doing and learning processes for anything else otherwise, hugs just aren't my thing. Same with telephone conversations - all other form of communication is fine, phones just feel oddly impersonable to me.

AA and NA LOVE to hug. These are people who haven't known the genuine care and warmth of another human soul in gods knows how long, some maybe ever genuinely in their lives (I have seen genuine stories of drunks and addicts as young as preteen who go sober before they could even legally vote so it's possible they never had anyone care before now) and being able to hug your fellow anyone in the Fellowship is a powerful statement of brother and sister and personhood between us all. People break down and cry and scream and throw fits and get into arguments and fistfights and stuff does get broken and destroyed, I've seen books get thrown, and they do need hugs after this, after baring their soul and past incidents to us.

Somehow, I'm able to put my own personal annoyance aside and be a person and give them this hug, even if I've only known them an hour, they know what path we've both been on and we both wound up here anyways so we do understand each other more than we already know. A hug can tell them a lot, and one of the things it can say is that they're safe and welcome in this meeting and that they can return. It can take a while before you find a group or meeting you feel safe and welcome in at, and to show genuine compassion and offer this and maybe coffee or food can save actual lives.

I think that's worth more than me grumbling like an old man about doing it.

Just don't go into the infamous Thirteenth Step and you'll be okay.

(A Thirteenth Step is an AA/NA joke referring to people who hook up with each other in meetings. Some people only attend for this purpose. It's generally frowned upon for the same reason it's a bad idea to date your coworkers or your therapist or teacher. You can imagine how things usually end up, even if there are a couple success stories out of it, it's generally not smart to do, especially in your first year when you're most vulnerable to everything. But geeze, how desperate do you have to be to pick on lonely, crying addicts to get your fix? And don't say they need Sex Addicts Anonymous - which is a thing and I've known a couple people who tried a meeting of it only to find it horrifying and a place almost solely made to hook up under the guise of group therapy. These are honest, open, incredibly kinky people too who would accept your fetishes even sooner than I would, so if it frightens them, I'm unsure if I ever want to set foot near it myself, even just to observe.)

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